// BBC UK NEWS — CRONACA
'It's a brutal adjustment': How to cope when your child goes to uni
Luke felt overwhelmed with both pride and grief after dropping his son off at university for the first time.
"After 18 years of seeing him every day and taking care of him, I miss him so much and I don't really know what to do with myself."
Like other parents we have spoken to, Luke (not his real name) and his wife have felt compelled to regularly check a Facebook group for parents and carers with children living in the same halls of residence, as well as a university-wide version with more than 2,000 members.
At first, being in these groups felt helpful for practical information, particularly in the weeks before his son headed to university, Luke says. But now they're feeding his anxiety.
"People will post things like: 'Is it normal to spend so much time in your room?'; 'I'm worried my daughter is struggling to make friends'; 'My child isn't replying to messages - how often are people hearing from theirs?'"
There have also been questions about Amazon parcel logistics, requests to borrow cereal bowls and what tog duvet other people's children were given.
Luke thinks these kinds of social media groups have fuelled his temptation to keep checking his son's location on a tracking app "to make sure he is going out enough and finding friends".
Because his messages and calls go largely unanswered, Luke will also watch videos posted on the university's social media accounts, hoping to catch a glimpse of his son among the throngs of Freshers. Other parents have sheepishly confessed they're doing the same.
Across universities, some enterprising parents have set up the sort of WhatsApp group chats you'd more typically find being used when children are at school. Only rather than asking after lost jumpers and what day PE is, these groups might be used to try to parent long-distance.
Some parents say they feel compelled to regularly check a Facebook group for parents and carers