// PC GAMER — GAMING
I made the hot dog vendors in GTA 5 work because Rockstar never did
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I'm modding GTA 5 every day in a quest to either transform it into a PC version of GTA 6 or break it entirely. Come back tomorrow to find out what new horrible thing I've done to Rockstar's baby, or check out what I got up to earlier.
I have filled a yawning void in the soul of Los Santos. I have returned the heart to a heartless world. I am a teacher, a healer, a gardener of human happiness. My efforts have ensured the general flourishing of society and the wellbeing of the spaceship Earth.
Based on the evidence, Rockstar probably intended the hot-dog-purchasing experience in GTA 5 to work much as it did in GTA 4. Why didn't it? A mystery. Dundee was busy working on horse testicles, or whatever it is they do up there, and forgot.
Anyway, it works now. You can now stroll up to the meat-slingers of Los Santos beach and give them five (thanks Obama) dollars for some sort of fleshy tube in a bun. This is electrifying.
The hot dogs heal you, just like in real life, but my favourite part is how they interact with the random-teleport mod I hucked onto my teetering GTA 5 pile just yesterday. One moment you'll be handing over your money, the next you will be perched atop the not-Hollywood sign, lazily chowing down on your grub. Also, the bodyguards that the celebrity mod has assigned you will keep manifesting in thin air next to you before plunging to their deaths. This does not interrupt the hot dog consumption process.
It's great. GTA 5 should have been like this the whole time. I can only hope that GTA 6, with its budget of 'roughly Saddam Hussein's gold bullion reserves,' will let you fully experience hot dogs.
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One of Josh's first memories is of playing Quake 2 on the family computer when he was much too young to be doing that, and he's been irreparably game-brained ever since. His writing has been featured in Vice, Fanbyte, and the Financial Times. He'll play pretty much anything, and has written far too much on everything from visual novels to Assassin's Creed. His most profound loves are for CRPGs, immersive sims, and any game whose ambition outstrips its budget. He thinks you're all far too mean about Deus Ex: Invisible War.