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I turn up late to meetings to dodge small talk. Am I wrong?
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I hate small talk. People who know me would be surprised to hear that, because I come across as a chatty extrovert — I even have my own science podcast — but when it comes to meetings that I’m chairing, I just want to get down to business.
I might start with, “Hi everyone, I hope you are all doing well”, but then I’ll immediately turn to the agenda. I have no patience for talk about the weather or recent holidays.
If people are talking when I arrive, I’ll let it go for a while as I unpack my bag and review the agenda.
I think people like being on committees that I chair because they all feel heard. And we end our meetings early.
Am I wrong? — Anonymous Straight Talker, who works at a US research university.
Nature reached out to other scientists to review your behaviour. Are you guilty of rudeness or simply trying to use the time efficiently?
“I hate small talk too, but I think it’s disrespectful to arrive late when others have made the effort to be there on time. I usually arrive on time and quietly, hoping everyone else gets on with the small talk while I sit and wait for the meeting to start.” — Juliana Sanchez Alponti Millar, biologist at the University of York, UK
“A few minutes of small talk helps to ease the atmosphere before a meeting. You can always set aside five minutes for that and then start the meeting.” — Mariana Belén Galeano, geneticist at IQUIBICEN in Buenos Aires.
“I understand the desire to make meetings efficient, but punctuality is also a form of respect. A good academic meeting should allow both warmth and focus, without turning small talk into wasted time.” — Jay Jesús Molino Cornejo, physicist at UDELAS, Panama City.