// KOTAKU — GAMING
The Five Best Switch Games To Play While Prepping For Your Colonoscopy
Balatrosplatoon raidersTomodachi Life: Living the Dream
If you are over the age of 45 and under 75 and have nothing else going on that would make you more at risk for colon cancer than most people, it is still recommended that you get a colonoscopy every ten years. Colonoscopies are important for identifying early signs of colon cancer, and they may also be recommended for folks who have symptoms that indicate other issues, such as hemorrhoids, ulcerative colitis, Crohn’s disease, and other things you really don’t want. Given this, it’s very likely that every single person reading this will need to have a colonoscopy a few times in their lives.
Unfortunately, colonoscopies suck. I know this from recent, personal experience. The actual process isn’t a big deal at all: yes, it sounds horrible to have a camera stuck up your butt, but they knock you out good for the process and it is unlikely you will notice that anything happened at all. What sucks is the preparation for the procedure. In most cases, preparation involves a few days of a low-fiber diet (fine, whatever), followed by a day of only consuming liquids (annoying), followed by drinking a large glass of the most disgusting liquid you’ve ever put in your mouth (like truly, the worst thing I’ve ever tasted), and then sitting on the toilet for roughly 4-6 hours emptying every last bit of everything out of your bowels. You probably don’t sleep well that night. Then you drink the awful stuff again the next morning, sit on the toilet again (probably for a shorter period of time), and then you go get your colonoscopy.
Let me tell you, it’s miserable! But three things made it semi-bearable. The first: a very nice bidet. You may not have access to one, but if you do, it helps. The second: Crystal Light lemonade powder. I poured that into the gross solution they make you drink. It did not make it taste any better, I am sorry to say. I am not sure anything would. But it did add a new sour/sweet taste that I was able to focus on long enough to get the foul poison down my throat without choking.
Being stuck on the toilet for four to six hours is a great excuse to play lots of video games. No one bothers you. Hell, no one wants to bother you, because they know what’s going on in there. No one will ask you to do a chore, or to run an errand. You certainly don’t have to go to work during this process (I hope, anyway). If you have kids, not being able to move from a toilet seat is a great excuse to temporarily pass them off to a partner or other family member (just be sure to return the favor when they have their colonoscopy).
A Steam Deck works fine, though my preference was the lighter-weight Nintendo Switch 2, which conveniently came with a kickstand so I could set it up on a container in front of me and not have to hold it the whole time. As I was playing my Switch 2 during this miserable experience, I began to ponder what sorts of games would be ideal for the specific situation I was in, and I came up with some loose criteria:
With those in mind, I came up with five games that I think broadly meet those criteria and would be good to play if and when you are stuck on the can preparing for your colonoscopy. Here they are:
This was the video game I was playing the most during this miserable time. Initially, it was just because I was reviewing it and didn’t want to lose like ten hours of playtime to this horrible process. But as I played, I realized it was really an ideal colonoscopy prep game. I wasn’t playing co-op, so no need to worry about other people. Most maps take about 1-4 minutes to clear, and there’s as much downtime as you want in between to guzzle water or do whatever else you need to do. Also, even when you’re in the middle of a run, most maps are pretty low-pressure. You can finish a wave and pause if you need to. The exception to this is maybe the Dens, but even then, pausing midway through isn’t going to trip you up that much.
Also, the weird Salmonid foghorn noi